In retrospect, food was my cigarette before I could get my hands on cigarettes.
When things felt really scary, or I felt really alone, food was there, and food felt good. From about 11 years old to 20 years old, I rapidly gained weight, at one point being over 200 lbs. My weight kept me from pursuing things I really wanted, and it made me hold myself back.
Paired with undiagnosed ADHD, I came to believe I was lazy, unmotivated, and undisciplined in all aspects of life. Exercise, school, chores, all of it. I am still undoing those beliefs while doing my best not to have my daughters follow any of those same patterns.
Through my primary school years, I wasn't necessarily overweight, but I had a stockier build. My legs were powerful, and my shoulders were broad, but I had a mother who was obsessed with being thin. She was beautiful and in fantastic bikini bodybuilding shape, and everywhere we went, I overheard people telling her over and over again how beautiful and thin she was.
One of my earliest memories of wanting to lose weight was in 5th grade. A classmate was absent for quite some time, and when she returned, she was obviously thinner than when she had left. I spoke to her, and she told me about her recent diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes, and that it was the reason for her weight loss. I went home that night and remember so badly hoping that the same thing could happen to me.
As the years passed, my home life became fairly tumultuous: a divorce, a new school, a new town, a new home, an unhealthy relationship between my mother and a new partner, as well as her own continuing issues with body image and self-acceptance.
All of the stressors I was facing day to day at home, along with the lack of presence from my biological dad due to geographical distance and his personal struggles, paired with undiagnosed ADHD, created a perfect storm for me to develop a reliance on food.
Why I Joined Step Together
For the first few weeks of my coach training at Step Together, I honestly thought it was too good to be true. I got to still be at home raising my children, doing something I truly believed in, something that was aligned with my personal ethos, and I got to meet really interesting and inspiring people.
I have personally experienced a lot of what I refer to as "big T trauma," and at times it has felt unfair that this was my childhood. However, sitting on the other side of it now, I hold faith that I am a cycle breaker, not just for my own family, but for many families. It is one of the greatest privileges to be entrusted with a whole family's health in an attempt to reduce suffering, both emotionally and physically.
I believe Step Together is different, and successful, because we treat the family as a whole, identify root causes, and examine the environment. Traditional weight loss programs provide general information in bullet-point plans, but they do not examine the conditions that led you to needing that program in the first place.
At Step Together, we work slowly and methodically and guide our families in making lifestyle and identity changes that feel right for them, and that they can uphold independently and indefinitely when the program concludes.
How I'm Uniquely Positioned to Help
First and foremost, I am a mother of two. I walk the talk daily, in the midst of deadlines, extracurricular activities, and mountains of laundry. I am also a NASM Certified Personal Trainer, and I hold a Nutrition Certificate as well as an Early Childhood Education diploma.
We have prioritized nutrition and self-sufficiency in our family. We live on a small acreage in Northern BC and do a lot of gardening, canning, raising our own meat and eggs, and hunting.
One thing I am fortunate to my mother for was her knowledge of nutrition and her firm belief in "let food be thy medicine." I love helping families strategize around fussy eaters and busy lives, and guiding them in becoming fiercely passionate and protective about their own family's nutrition.
What I Want Every Parent to Hear
I think many parents misunderstand that children are inherently good, and that while they can have traits we deem undesirable, we can be quick to blame the child instead of examining the conditions or circumstances leading to that behavior.
A child isn't giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time.
The most important mindset shift I like to support families in making is to trade short-term fixes for long-term benefits. Parenting is really hard, especially under the added pressure of today's modern world, and there are a lot of quick fixes that work in the short term, but leave a long list of issues later on.
Supporting parents in making changes that may feel hard or uncomfortable in the beginning can lead to lasting, positive change for the whole family. I often tell the families I work with that I am never shaming or blaming them.
I am simply an observer sent to help, and I feel honoured to have the opportunity to do so.
